Lessons from Madrid

Hello, Reader!

It has been about a month and a half since I came back home from Madrid and I feel like enough time has passed for me to take out the lessons I’ve learned from the experience. If you haven’t been following; hello! At the start of this year, I moved to Madrid for three months, to work as an Au Pair to a seven year old girl and study in an intensive Spanish course. I’ve definitely learned a lot and in today’s post I’ll share my real, un-glorified experience of Au Pairing in Madrid.

This February, I moved out of my parents’ house for the first time. Yes, I know it was only for a few months but, nevertheless, it was the first time I was to live away from my family. Not only that; I had to leave my whole life behind in London for this opportunity which I idealised in my head so much that I had absolutely no doubts or fears. A lot of people asked me whether I felt scared, going all alone, or whether I was worried that I’ll feel lonely or homesick and I honestly replied that, actually, no. When I was applying for the job, I was excited to find an opportunity to get away from London- I was dealing with a lot of negativity and I simply wanted to run away. However, by the time January rolled around, I didn’t feel the same way anymore. I felt content with my life at home and I really had no desire to leave. Arriving to my host family’s home, I resented being there and I couldn’t stop thinking about how much time I was going to spend there. I hated the fact that I wasn’t going to see my family until April and I hated everything about the situation I found myself in. What was I supposed to do if I came for the cultural immersion but I hated the culture by association? As the days went by I became used to my responsibilities in the house, the routine of each day, the food and customs of Spain… but I still closely watched the clock, cursing the time for passing so slowly. Thinking back to my time there, it feels like I dreamt it; like it wasn’t a real thing that happened but something from a different reality. 

It wasn’t only the world I found myself in that was different- I was different too. I’ve heard that when you find yourself in a different culture you do develop a kind of new personality, the same way your voice is different when speaking different languages. As an Au Pair, I was basically a live-in babysitter. I was to look after a seven year old girl almost the entire time she would be at home plus take her to and from school, (you can read more about my daily routine as an Au Pair in my first post about Madrid.) In theory, I didn’t work many hours- it was only 30 hours per week. In reality, even when I wasn’t on the clock, I was constantly thinking about the next time I needed to be somewhere or waiting for the girl to get home. It felt like I was always on the job, in that role. My whole persona at that point was the girl’s Au Pair- I didn’t feel like my own person. I lived, sleep and ate at my place of work, so even in my free time, I was ready to be pulled out of my room for some ‘extra help’. Some days I’d be so tired and my hours would drag out to 11pm, even midnight, because the child didn’t feel like going to bed and her mum was busy. The reality is that I had a really tough time. 

However, it wasn’t all bad. I look back on my Spanish course with fondness- it’s where I met a few lovely friends who helped me through everything and where I really thrived. The course was quite intensive; I had four lessons per week, one and a half hours each day. In that class, I really felt like myself. It was full of people from all parts of the world, of different ages and backgrounds and it was amazing that we were all put together in that class to learn and improve our Spanish. We practised real life conversations that we might come across in our time there and learned about the history and culture of Spain in addition to grammar and vocabulary. We even had a class trip to a cooking class where we collectively made a huge paella and a Latin dance class where we danced Salsa, really badly. The majority of my happy memories from Madrid are with my Spanish class and I’m beyond happy that I stuck with it. My Spanish really improved exponentially in that class; I came out of the course with a 98% pass and I was able to carry full conversations in Spanish about topics ranging how my day went to my childhood and family. 

So, after all that my experience in Madrid was, and wasn’t, what lessons did I learn? On my last day there, I wrote a list of “Lessons from Madrid” and, in no particular order, here they are!

1. Au Pairing is not for me.
2. The key to speaking a foreign language is just speaking with confidence, without worrying about perfect grammar - if they don’t understand you, just try again!
3. When I’m away from home, I miss my mum more than I thought.
4. One of my biggest fears is my little brother growing up without me.
5. I can make friends anywhere, I just have to try.
6. Long distance relationships are hard, but love makes life brighter.
7. It’s possible to grow to like a culture you begin with hating- especially if there’s lots of sun.
8. Time passes faster if you don’t think about it all the time.

I know that I’ve definitely learned much more that I don’t even realise but I think these are some of the biggest ones that I could recognise. Living in Madrid really took a toll on my mental health, but, even there, I knew that it was a learning opportunity. In fact, I got my first tattoo in Madrid which I designed fully myself. It’s a little drawing of two wild flowers, to remind me that that everything is a growing opportunity even if I’m struggling. 

Thank you for reading!

Love,

Agnes xo